Archive for May, 2009

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May
09

Winks from Creator/God

May 28, 2009God wink1

Winks from Creator/God

Keeping faith that everything is happening and unfolding according to a Divine plan has been a very challenging concept to practice and maintain, particularly in the past 5 years. I have been told, and have often felt, like I’ve been a walking case of Murphy’s Law…in that anything that can go wrong, has gone wrong. Yet, there is a small niggling somewhere in my mind that perhaps this experience which feels and seems so awful and bleak will somehow lead to something amazing and wonderful. That’s the way it was with my divorce, so why shouldn’t my brain injury journey be the same?

The difficult part of having faith is that it’s so much easier to look back after going through a difficult time and saying, “Wow, isn’t it amazing that everything worked out well and better than I could ever have hoped!” It’s much more difficult to keep a smile on your face and profess that your life is going wonderfully well and just as Creator/God has planned while you are actually knee deep in manure on this arduous trek. The “manure” which is swirling around me right now includes: approximately $130,000 worth of medical debt, termination of my disability pension, lack of any income, a decision from the bank as to whether I qualify for any kind of assistance so that I can stay in my home or whether they will foreclose, a 3 to 4 mud bath2month wait to see if I qualify for SSI, and an undetermined wait as to how long SERS (school employees retirement system) will drag out my appeal of their decision to terminate my disability pension.

While some people may have an inherently positive/optimistic personality even in the face swimming in such sewage, I am one who needs a little more encouragement or some kind of reassurance that things are going to work out okay. I would like to believe I received 3 such messages of encouragement/reassurance over the past month.

Some people might call these positive types of experiences a coincidence, the answer to a prayer or simply an incident with unlikely odds.  SQuire Rushnell calls them “Godwinks.” He says that these uplifting happenings are a way in which God “winks” at us and leads us to precisely where we need to be in life or to the right people and/or opportunities at just the right time. (For more about this, visit his GODWINK STORIES™ at http://www.beliefnet.com on Mondays and Wednesday or read his book, When God Winks at You.)

I’d like to share with you my recent “unusual” experiences and ask you what you think.

Wink #1: One of my neighbors, whom I’ll call Alicia, frequently brings me meals. Although we did not know each other very well prior to my accident, when she found out about my circumstances and the difficulty I had with fixing meals, she took it upon herself to fix an extra plate of food every now and then to share with me. The thought and love which she puts into these special plates are amazing and she seems to show up on my doorstep with them at times when I’m at my lowest.

A few weeks ago, she brought me some dinner and told me that her 14 yr. old car finally died, and that she was hoping to find a reasonably priced used car in good condition. The next morning she called and asked if she could come over because she had something for me. It was very unusual that she was coming over in the morning. When I opened the door, she handed me a check for $1,000 made out to the County Treasurer’s Office. She said that she was able to find a car and had not used all of the money she had set aside for it. She got online and noticed that I was behind on my property taxes and decided to give me the check so I could get current on my taxes. Alicia is woman who not only has a strong relationship with God, she also is a true embodiment of love, compassion and generosity.

Wink #2: Around this same time I was feeling very anxious about wondering how long I would be without income while SERS makes a decision on my appeal. I thought about this sleezy mortgage company I had taken out my mortgage with right after I got divorced. They ended up charging me $13,000 more than they should have. A lawyer looked over the documents and told me it wasn’t worth trying to sue them and that I should just find another more reputable company. A couple years later, I unexpectedly received a check in the mail for a few hundred dollars. The check was for money recovered from a class action lawsuit against this mortgage company. And, it had come precisely at a time when I was having difficulties paying bills. A couple years after that, I received another check from them, once again arriving at a time when I was experiencing some financial difficulty. This last check came about 7 or 8 years ago.

With my current financial situation weighing heavily on my mind, I began thinking “Gee, I wish I would get another check from that class action lawsuit.” The very next day there was a check in my mailbox from the class action lawsuit for $560!!!

Wink #3: Yesterday, a friend and I packed our cameras and went to “happy hour with the butterflies.” We have discovered that the special evening butterfly events are the best times for me to attend since there are “adults only” which makes for fewer people, much less noise and, therefore, less overstimulation. One of the most amazing and beautiful butterflies there was a blue morpho butterfly. Some of the staff told us that it is extremely difficult to get a picture of this particular butterfly. Its beauty is breathtaking as it flits actively around the exhibit, but as soon as it lands, it usually closes its wings, displaying its less attractive dark brown underside.

As I sat watching it flit around, I said a prayer and asked God to send me a message to me that everything will be okay by letting the butterfly land on me. Within 10 minutes this incredible blue butterfly landed on my shoulder! A few people gathered around me taking pictures of it. Fortunately, my friend was among them, poised with her camera to capture this astonishing occurrence.Butterfly on my shoulder02 2009

Butterfly on my shoulder05 2009Butterfly on my shoulder 2009

Question: What do you think? Are these reassurances from God or simply a string of very fortunate/interesting events?

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Blessings, and thank you.

© Angela Cramer, 2008-2009

Sky picture and clipart are the property of Jupiterimages made available through subscription:
© Jupiterimages Corporation, 2008-2009 www.clipart.com

Butterfly pictures taken by my friend, Missy Black, © 2009




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