Archive for October, 2009

30
Oct
09

Lame Excuse for Halloween

October 30, 2009Pumpkins01 2009-10-18

Lame Excuse for Halloween

I was looking for ways to keep from worrying, so I decided to go to a Halloween party. It’s been years since I’ve gone to any kind of party and I really wasn’t in much of a fun mood – wasn’t going to dress up, due to lack of money.

My best friend called me complaining that she had to go to a party and dress up like a character from a movie but didn’t want to spend a lot of money on a costume. So I looked up some simple Halloween costumes for her. As I explored some ideas for her, I began looking for something I might also be able to pull off without spending much money.

I decided to go as a “Lame Excuse.” You probably can’t see it in the picture, but there is a Gryphon on my shoulder with a sign that says, “Lame Excuse. Need one? Take one.” I put fiberfill around my leg, wrapped an ace bandage around it and carried a cane. Then I cut a garbage bag into a vest and taped excuses all over it.  (Click here for directions on how to make a Lame_Excuse_Costume)

It was a fun way to break the ice with people I didn’t know. One woman followed me around reading off some of my excuses. That produced giggles and comments like, “That sounds familiar,” or “I’ll have to remember that one!” I didn’t spend any money on the costume, just pulled together things I had around the house.

Cindy-Lame Excuse01 2009-10-25I actually won an award for one of the Best Halloween Costumes. At the end of the party, I gave my costume to the woman who had so much fun following me around reading the excuses. A friend of mine told me that was an indication of what a good person I am. Though I’d like to accept the compliment, it sounds a little odd: “Gee, you’re such a good person, you’d give a stranger the garbage bag off your back!”

Thought you’d have fun reading some of the excuses I taped to my vest:

I can’t come to work today because my car ran out of gas on the way to work. While I was pushing it to a gas station, I got a stomach hernia and now I have to go see my doctor.

I can’t come to work today because I’ve used all of my sick days and I’m calling in dead.

I can’t come to work today because I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at Wal-Mart.

I can’t come to work today because constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

I can’t come to work today because I tried to dye my hair blonde, but it came out green!

I can’t come to work today because my front door fell off my house and I was afraid someone might steal my stuff!

I can’t come to work today because my cat is lonely and stressed out and if I don’t spend quality time with him, he will keep peeing on the furniture!

I didn’t come to work because I forgot to.

I can’t come to work today, or maybe never, because I just got a letter saying that I may have won 20 million dollars.

I can’t come to work today because my toilet exploded and I have to wait for a plumber!

I’m sorry I was late because I was stuck in the bathroom without any toilet paper.

I’m sorry I was late because while I was brushing my teeth I squeezed too much toothpaste out of the tube and it took me a long time to get it all back in.

I was late because I feel like I’m in everyone’s way if I show up on time.

I was late because my dog ate my underwear and I didn’t have any clean ones to wear. I’ll be in after I do some laundry!

Sorry I was going so fast, officer, but my wife ran off with a state policeman and when I saw your flashing lights I didn’t stop because I thought you might be the trooper who is trying to bring her back to me.

Sorry I was going so fast, officer. I was leading in the Indianapolis 500…but I think I took a wrong turn!

Officer, thank you so much for stopping me; it was the only way I knew to get tickets to the Police, ticketTroopers’ Ball. (Hopefully, he will tell you he can’t give you any tickets because state troopers don’t have any Balls.)

Sorry I was going so fast, officer, but I have to go to the bathroom sooooo badly that I’m about to explode! Do you know of a restroom really close by that I can get to in the next 60 seconds?

Sorry I was going so fast, officer, but I was trying to get to the gas station in a hurry before I ran out of gas!

I have metal fillings in my teeth. My refrigerator magnets keep pulling me into the kitchen. That’s why I can’t lose weight.

Sorry my taxes were late…I thought it was my accountant’s job to file the tax return.

I didn’t file my income tax returns because I was unable to determine which tax form to use

I didn’t know that I was required to report the money I embezzled as income on my tax returns.

I made a mistake and really believed I wouldn’t do it again. It must have been a brain fart thing that caused me to do it again.

I can’t pay you in regular money but I was wondering if I could do so with MONOPOLY MONEY.

Sources:
About.com: Family Crafts (http://familycrafts.about.com/od/thingscostumes/a/hclameexcuse.htm)
MadTBone.tripod.com: The Mother of All Excuses Place (www.madtbone.tripod.com)
TheWorkBuzz.com: Lame Excuses (www.theworkbuzz.com/fun-stuff/lame-excuses)

© Angela Cramer, 2008-2009

Photos are the property of Angela Cramer.
Clip art is the property of Jupiterimages made available through subscription:
© Jupiterimages Corporation, 2008-2009 www.clipart.com

09
Oct
09

Leap of Faith

October 9, 2009Walker1

Leap of Faith

Although it makes sense logically that a person will function differently after surviving a brain injury, the biggest challenge is to let go of the expectations of one’s old self and to accept a new ‘normal.’ Two of my greatest challenges include mobility difficulties and problems with extreme fatigue. Before my brain injury, I used to be able to push myself very hard to quickly accomplish goals I set for myself. Now I have to pay attention to my fatigue level and force myself to rest frequently in order to function at my best. I find this very frustrating because I often feel like my life is at a standstill. I become upset when I don’t feel like my life is progressing the way I want.

I’ve been interested in Native American spirituality for a long time, particularly observing animals and nature and learning important lessons learned by engaging in this practice. I pay attention to animals which are present in my environment and reflect upon their behavior, how they move and survive, their strengths and challenges, and how these things might relate to what is going on in my life at that particular time.

While I was feeling upset with issues of fatigue, mobility, and how slowly my life now progresses, I saw a grasshopper resting on top of a sunflower in my backyard. As I thought about the grasshopper, I suddenly realized how similar I was to it. Because the grasshopper had no comparison of life pre- and post-injury, I began to see how I now move through life in a much different way. Comparisons to others or to how I progressed previously are not helpful.

grasshopper, wings

The way I move through life now is simply different. At times, I engage in resting, enjoying the beauty that surrounds me and making important revelations while others seem to surpass me. However, like the grasshopper with its powerful hind legs, I am in touch with my surroundings, know when to quickly draw upon my inner strength and can leap extraordinary distances to get to where I need to be as long as I take time to rest and reflect.

Click here to read the poem I wrote as a tribute to lessons learned from the grasshopper: Leap_of_Faith

© Angela Cramer, 2008-2009

Clip art is the property of Jupiterimages made available through subscription:
© Jupiterimages Corporation, 2008-2009 www.clipart.com

Although it makes sense logically that a person will function differently after surviving a brain injury, the biggest challenge is to let go of the expectations of one’s old self and to accept a new ‘normal.’ Two of my greatest challenges include mobility difficulties and problems with extreme fatigue. Before my brain injury, I used to be able to push myself very hard to quickly accomplish goals I set for myself. Now I have to pay attention to my fatigue level and force myself to rest frequently in order to function at my best. I find this very frustrating because I often feel like my life is at a standstill. I become upset when I don’t feel like my life is progressing the way I want.

I’ve been interested in Native American spirituality for a long time, particularly observing animals and nature and learning important lessons learned by engaging in this practice. I pay attention to animals which are present in my environment and reflect upon their behavior, how they move and survive, their strengths and challenges, and how these things might relate to what is going on in my life at that particular time.

While I was feeling upset with issues of fatigue, mobility, and how slowly my life now progresses, I saw a grasshopper resting on top of a sunflower in my backyard. As I thought about the grasshopper, I suddenly realized how similar I was to it. Because the grasshopper had no comparison of life pre- and post-injury, I began to see how I now move through life in a much different way. Comparisons to others or to how I progressed previously are not helpful.

The way I move through life now is simply different. At times, I engage in resting, enjoying the beauty that surrounds me and making important revelations while others seem to surpass me. However, like the grasshopper with its powerful hind legs, I am in touch with my surroundings, know when to quickly draw upon my inner strength and can leap extraordinary distances to get to where I need to be as long as I take time to rest and reflect. Below is a poem I wrote as a tribute to lessons learned from the grasshopper.




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