By Angela

Welcome to Twilight Insight by Angela.

I’m Angela, and I am in the twilight phase of my life. The descent of this darkness was brought about by a brain injury. I was plunged into experiencing a death of who I was and what I believed about the world and people. The darkness and uncertainty has been frightening. Yet I cling to the certainty of cycles. That light follows dark and death brings about new life, and the cycle keeps repeating.

One of life’s tasks is to learn that it never stays dark forever, nor does it ever remain light forever. There is a delicate balance of learning to understand and appreciate the nature of both. This website is my story about walking my path in lightness and dark, and sharing with you the insights which have come to me during the twilight times.

The purpose of this website is to finally give voice to my story. There have been enough people evaluating and analyzing me, telling me and others what my story is. It is now time for me to find my voice and speak my own story.

The mission of this website is to:

1) To heighten awareness about:

– brain injury
– chiropractic stroke
– unjust practices used by educational retirement systems
– intentional and unintentional abuse of people with brain injury from the medical profession, legal system, and disability/retirement organizations

2) To give and receive support to other TBI/chiropractic stroke survivors & their caregivers by sharing information and stories

3) To seek resources to assist Angela from the internet community

Twilight is the period in the morning or evening in which diffused light from the sun softly breaks through the darkness; this occurs either at daybreak or sunrise when the sun is just below the horizon. Twilight is also the latter phase of one’s life, before death. Twilight times can emit feelings of uncertainty or fear of being swallowed up by the darkness, by death. Yet the presence of light just below the horizon sends out feelings of hope – a promise of a dawn, a new beginning. A promise that there is light to see one’s way through the darkness.

Copyright Statement: All material presented on this website is copyrighted. It cannot be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Angela Cramer

© Angela Cramer, 2008

Graphics and clipart are property of Jupiterimages made available through subscription: © Jupiterimages Corporation, 2008 www.clipart.com

Tags: Traumatic Brain Injury, Acquired Brain Injury, Chiropractic Stroke, Post Concussion Syndrome, Mission, Goals, Introduction

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9 Responses to “Intro”


  1. 1 Alex
    October 10, 2008 at 3:13 pm

    Dear Angela,

    I understand, at least in part, of what you have experienced as I, too have had others try to quelch my voice. But I refuse to be silenced. Who I was previously to being in a motor vehicle accident has in many ways assisted me in transforming me into the person I am now becoming. This journey is not easy and many times it is quite frustrating. However my experiences are transforming me into a stronger person of greater character than I ever realized I could be and quite frankly, for the most part I like who I am becoming. I do not like the pain I live in daily or the physical limitations placed on my life by the accident but I am reminded each time I look at my bible that I will never carry the weight of the world on my shoulders as did my Saviour Jesus Christ.

    God bless you in your endevours to share your voice as well as be an encourgement to those whose voice has become silenced by others who lack the insight or compassion to truely listen or care about the fate of others.

    Sister’s for the cause,

    Alex

  2. October 10, 2008 at 11:12 pm

    HI ANGELA,I LIKE TO INTRODUCE MY SELF , I HAVE THOUSAND OF WORLDS TO SAY,BUT ALL I CAN THINK NOW IS THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONG,WE ARE MANY PEOPLE WHO HELPING US EACH OTHER AND IF I CAN BE YOU FRIEND OR IF I CAN HELP YOU IN ANYTHING THAT I CAN DO , I WILL, I’M T.B.I. SURVIVE BUT I’M NOT ILL, HOPE I HEAR FROM YOU SOON,BYE.

  3. October 11, 2008 at 12:39 pm

    Dear Alex,

    There are millions of us here in the US with brain injuries whose lives have been dramatically changed. It is my sincere hope that those of us who refuse to be silenced can be a strong voice to help educate the general public and be an advocate for change and much needed help when it comes to living with a TBI.

    I love your spirit of being able to see that there can be a “Gift within the Pain.” Sometimes this makes it easy for others to ignore the incredible challenges we must face because they see our strengths as evidence that we are coping and doing just fine. For those people, they just may find that their lives are one day touched in a deep and very personal way with TBI. TBI exists at such an epidemic level, it is highly likely that they or a loved one will become a statistic.

    You may want to look at my thoughts on Changed Brains and Labels. This can be found by doing a “search blog” located at the top of the side bar on the right.

    This TBI journey is most definitely a lesson in faith. It is a delicate balance of doing what we can and at the same time having faith that everything is in order and that we ARE being supported by God, or the Universe, or whatever fits within one’s belief system. My story titled, The Feather, touches on having faith and can also be found on my website by doing a search.

    Blessings to you on your journey!

    Angela

  4. October 11, 2008 at 12:49 pm

    Dear Raol,

    Thank you so much for visiting my site and for being so compassionate and caring.

    I know exactly what you are talking about. Having so many words and thoughts going through your mind and not knowing what to say first. Thank you for reaching out to me. There have been and will be times when I can definitely use the support of others. I will let you know.

    Meanwhile, I look forward to your thoughts and comments whenever the time is right.

    Angela

  5. February 18, 2009 at 11:06 am

    Good morning again Angela,

    I would wish for your definition of twilight to also include the sun shining – before and after a storm. Or One might think of being in a canyon or tunnel? and emerging into full sunlight again. One can be blinded, too, by stepping out of the stage wings twilight into the stage/spot light.

    I’ve found successfull communication as a survivor is nearly impossible. You are doing a good job. I’m enjoying and learning,
    Thanks, :)gwenith 2/18/09 08:10:32

  6. April 27, 2009 at 9:31 pm

    Dear Angela,
    Reading your description of the day of the accident sent chills down my spine, it was an all-too-familiar scenario. MTBI is so often overlooked, even when there is a SIGNIFICANT MECHANISM OF INJURY that one would hope would make healthcare professionals take notice. And social workers/psychologists??? I told one within 72 hours of the crash that I was in an accident, and I rambled away about needing someone to talk to….he said I probably had a learning disability that was rearing its head now that I was in college….without ever referring to my outstanding personal and volunteer and academic successes in high school. We as a species have not evolved to the point of being able to withstand the massive forces of something like a motor vehicle accident. I wish that it was common procedure to educate patients in any Motor Vehicle Collision about the risk of Mild TBI. It’s underdiagnosed, and misdiagnosed….and yet frightfully common.

    But, it’s all about continuing to look for information and keep fighting. The Centers for Independent Living have been a godsend for me–people with disabilities helping people with disabilities, it’s a beautiful thing.

    Life can still be good, however, and there are so many blessings, and we learn a level of empathy that is unparalled as we experience in a short amount of time, experiences that occur across the lifespan.

    Keep looking for the good in every day–and, your information here is EXCELLENT. You are an intelligent lady with excellent insight.

    Blessings!

  7. 7 Dickson
    January 25, 2010 at 2:18 am

    Hi Angela,

    I was inspired by the thought that despite of the feeling of fear and uncertainty in the twilight phase of your life now, you can still see a ray of light in your life. I believe that it is in that ray of light that you see hope – hope that would bring you back to a total light and life. For that, I could say, you’re such an exceptional person. You just see things that the other people in your case don’t see.

    Anyway, I want to ask your permission to copy your story and poem entitled the dance so i could tell some inspirations to my classmates. I’m a masteral student at Central Mindanao University, Philippines. My classmate showed us that amazing video, and we could not help but just be astonished with what we were watching – two disabled person who was able to dance with the physical challenge of their lives. Our teacher instructed us to analyze the meaning of the dance and I thought your poem could be of great help for me.

    I hope for your favorable response Angela. Thank you in advance! Continue inspiring others!

    • January 25, 2010 at 8:14 am

      First I would like to thank you for taking the time to write a comment. It is such a wonderful gift for me to receive. I write words and hope that I am contributing to society or the world in some kind of positive way, yet have no idea how my words and thoughts impact others in silence. It is easy to misinterpret this silence as not having any value to others.

      When a person is “differently abled” and does not have a job that validates their existence by way of a paycheck which enables them to survive in the world, it is easy to succumb to the thought that s/he, therefore, has no value to the world. Your words, however, act as a currency for my soul and existence, and for that, I thank you.

      Yes, you have my permission to copy my story and poem entitled, The Dance, as long as you include © by Angela Cramer, 2009 and note that it was “shared with permission of the author.”

      What are you studying as a masteral student? I hope you will write a comment and share more about any further discussion or ideas about the dance. I would find that very stimulating.

      Thank you again for writing to me. Your words have been instrumental in nudging me to write another entry in my blog…long overdue.

      Angela

  8. 9 John Hansen
    February 22, 2010 at 3:11 pm

    Hello again Angela.
    Yours is a fascinating (and very professional) site!) I was drawn to it quite by accident googling to find people such as yourself out there who want to use skype to talk about their injuries, and how they manage the consequences.
    I agree with one of your other correspondents that “MTBI is so often overlooked, even when there is a SIGNIFICANT MECHANISM OF INJURY that one would hope would make healthcare professionals take notice”.
    Until it happened to me, I was not even really aware of the potential significance of MTBI.
    On top of a previous aneurysm/ subarachnoid haemmorhage, it has become a potential disaster for me and my wife. Why am I sitting at home instead of on my way to work like I used to? Why me???.. etc. etc. All those endless questions while we try and work out why fate chose to put a wreckers ball through our lives. I had never thought to classify what I have now as a learning disability, but on reflection, that’s what I now have! A Learning Disability.
    We live at the bottom of a short but very steep cul de sac. I was riding to and from work on a bike to keep fit (I’m 57- no spring chicken, but anyway). One day, the brakes failed, I gathered speed as I was going down the hill and had no option but to plow into the side of the house- fortunately it’s covered in a chilli-bin type skin rather than something more solid. Irrespective, I hit it head first- wearing a helmet thank god- and suffered concussion and what with hindsight I now believe to be a Traumatic Brain Injury. Whatever it was, I believe it was instrumental in my having to leave subsequent employment prematurely as I could not “follow” and “retain” a lot of what was going on. It has left me feeling bitter and full of self-pity- again, why me? And wondering, for example whether the previous aneurysm/ subarachnhoid haemmorhage had left me lax in, for example, not checking the brakes on the bike more regularly? I’d like to know, for example, how long can those “concussion-like” effects last- these and many other questions, are why I look for sites such as yours. I think Skype is a new excellent medium for these kinds of dialogues too- if anyone wants to skype- my user name is johnnavon
    Lastly, someone else mentioned tour “Centers for Independent Living” being a godsend for people with disabilities helping people with disabilities. They sound just the ticket and the sort of thing that should be replicated here in New Zealand. Yes- it is a beautiful thing.
    John


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